It has been brought to our attention, through a recent article, that a new trailer for an upcoming shooting game (Call of Duty 2: Modern Warfare 4) depicts the most unchristian and heinous imagery of all time: An attack on American soil. The Christian Science Monitor has been quick to strike pre-eminently against this tasteless foe, forgoing context or insight in a bid to keep their readers abreast of such deplorable rubbish.

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The trailer suitably riled up one writer at The Christian Science Monitor, not due to the depiction of resolution through bloody conflict or the brutal and visceral portrayal of war. But for the emotionally charged setting at the end of the trailer, stating that:

…this is one of the first times such striking imagery has surfaced since 9/11, when the idea of widespread destruction on US soil was suddenly thrust into reality.

It is pleasant to see that Christians have such faith in their fellow man, innocently assuming that those wretched game developers wouldn’t have exploited such tragedy much sooner. But we regret to say this isn’t the case.

Usefully enough we have compiled a selected list of post 9/11 games that depict ‘the destruction of a major US city – in near photo-realistic detail – (in) a central role’. These games are often regarded as ‘underground’ games and would have only been sold in handful of bootleg retailers; thus conveniently flying under the radar of the good people at the Christian Science Monitor.

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Freedom Fighters, 2003:

New York is reduced to rubble after America is invaded by the prequels to terrorists: diabolical, fear-mongering communists. The streets of New York become a warzone as innocent civilians are murdered, buildings are torn down and, most upsettingly of all, communist insignias are placed prominently around the city.

Legendary, 2008:

After a stolen mystical box is opened, mythical creatures pour out and proceed to viciously lay waste to New York City. It is not explicitly stated whether or not the fabled beasts have anti-American ideologies or the capacity to understand the concept of ideologies. But we’re going to assume that they do. They were also probably paedophiles.

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty, 2008:

Once again set in an alternate timeline wherein the untimely death of Winston Churchill allows the Nazi Party to sweep through Europe and into England. This leads to an incredibly strategic attack by the Nazis upon American soil, utilising the tactical vantage given by attacking the metropolis of New York City head on. The subsequent invasion results familiarly in New York getting torn to shreds once again.

Fallout 3, 2008:

Washington DC is utterly obliterated by a series of nuclear blasts, leaving behind the bedraggled remnants of human civilisation in it’s wake. While the post-apocalyptic game is fettered with a variety of skills and action: ranging from hacking automatons, making small talk with radioactive ghouls or reverse pick-pocketing a grenade into someone’s pocket. It doesn’t feature the one ingame skill it desperately needs; the ability to break down and weep into a tattered and singed American flag at the sight of the ruined United States Capitol Building.

The Conduit, 2009:

In the not so distant future Washington DC comes under attack by space faring invaders. The aliens manage to strike at the heart of humanity by having selective gunfights around various historical monuments and places of interest within New York and Washington DC.

Ghostbusters, 2009:

Despite being set in 1991, the game was made in 2009, the game makers should have known better. Why couldn’t they have just set it in a fictional town in eastern Europe to avoid any undue distress? Also, I’m not sure what I find more deplorable, the widespread destruction of downtown New York, the overt references to the occult and probably paganism or Bill Murray’s levity towards both.

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If only these games had received a nationally televised advert and a huge marketing push. Then perhaps the sentinels at the Christian Science Monitor would have been aware of their existence and could have acted sooner… If only…

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