We apologise for our extended absence from this vital news blog, I’m well aware that literally thousands of you were probably lost without our sage advice. This absence isn’t without due cause; myself and one of my close friends, Audrey, have been involved in a fierce legal battle with video game developers Ba-Boon! Studios. This judicial embroilment emerged after an incident in which Audrey’s son, high on cocaine, repeatedly slapped and verbally insulted a police horse.

When later questioned by the authorities, Audrey’s son stated that he was not acting on his volition and was simply imitating an act from a popular video game: Pro-Jockey ‘08, developed by Ba-Boon! Studios. After getting word of this, Audrey and I sprung into action and took the necessary steps to make sure all employees of the nefarious Ba-Boon! Studios were punished to the full extent of the law. Follow the link to see pictures of the horrific turn of events incited by the horrendous game Pro-Jockey ‘08.

In this picture we see Audrey’s son making his way to the horse whilst aggressively giving the ‘wanker’ sign.

Here we Audrey’s son squaring up to the horse, most likely imitating a key part of the game.

His mind warped by the game Audrey’s son then proceeds to slap the horse.

Here we see the horse being slapped once more whilst Audrey’s son shouts ‘Twatcicle’ at the poor equine beast.

And finally we see Audrey’s son being restrained and maced by the police.

Unfortunately our case was ultimately dismissed by the courts; which logically leads us to believe that they were most likely bribed by the game’s developers.